Hummingbird Hustle

Several weeks back, I had this bright idea to take photos of birds while sitting in a lawn chair in the back yard sipping coffee. In my head, this all sounded and looked very easy. I'd go so far as to say it was even bucolic. Yes, I said it. Bucolic. (now frantically looking up bucolic to make sure I used it correctly) (it'll do)

I bought some bird feed at the Dollar store and mid week, I spread out a healthy helping on the picnic table so that they'd become accustomed to where their dinner was located. By the time the weekend rolled around, the birds would be acclimated and I would have time to have that bucolic coffee in the back yard scenario.

You have to know this about the Dood, he doesn't ever tell me I'm nuts flat out. He's very vocabulary sensitive and uses phrases that allows the "I'm nuts" sensation to slowly soak into my conscious thoughts like a lovely, slow spring shower. He says things like (this is a direct quote), "What about Ghost (this is my rescued, ungrateful, pissant black cat that my sons adore)?" I assured him that Ghost wouldn't be a problem. Pffffft...cats don't even like bird feed, anyway.

Except...on the morning I went out back to partake of my dream becoming a reality, Ghost followed me. She promptly made herself comfortable right smack dab in the middle of what should have been bird feasting grounds. I had a big ol serving of humble pie and sent proof to the Dood in pictorial format so that we could just laugh and laugh together about how I finally understood what he'd been trying to 
tell me. He convinced me, gently, that I needed to go buy a bird feeder. Even suggested the shepherds hook thingy so that it would hang. Up high.

While at the store, I saw the hummingbird feeders as well. My dream of creating a bird feeding oasis of bliss expanded. So, I bought two bird feeding things. One for seed eating birds and one for nectar drinking birds. Life is grand.

I installed the shepherds hook into the ground, even stood up on it for good measure. I filled all the bird feeders with their goodies....right next to my fence in the shade. The squirrels had a field day. Also, the discardings of their orgy in the seed feeder made grass grow like tropical forrest underneath. Beautiful, lush, fresh, green grass. And the nectar didn't fare so well either. Ants clamored to their death in the sweet red drink. The ant sludge that I had to clean out was enough to make a weak person gag. Okay, fine...I gagged. A lot. It stank. Who knew ant carcasses would smell so horrible?!

Thankfully, a windstorm tore down my dreams and the Dood relocated the hook to a less squirrel friendly location. He doesn't complain. He simply works around all my good intentions to make my dreams become real. This morning, I finally got to see hummingbirds enjoying their nectar. I should have had a tripod ready for this momentous occasion. Maybe next time, I will (don't hold your breath--I am tripod rich and user poor).

Anyway, life is indeed good. My coffee was delicious sitting out back in the cooler, gentle breezes that will usher in my favorite time of the year. Also...we have hummingbirds!!!

Sowing Seeds

I had one of those moments this week that absolutely made me come to a full stop. I knew immediately that it would change the direction of my path.

This week has been emotionally stressful and busy. So, imagine me constantly on the go trying to be in the places I needed to be, fielding necessary phone calls, keeping appointments, assisting in caring for my father who is very sick at the hospital, trying to work, worrying about not being very present for my sons or my boyfriend. I left a lot undone.

I've begun this mentoring program. I have committed to myself to get as much as I possibly can from the experience. I am learning so much.

On Friday, I had scheduled a live video hang out with my Mentor for her to critique some photos of mine that I'd submitted earlier in the week. Because of the week I'd had, I didn't have time to get nervous or have any preconceived ideas about how it would/wouldn't go. I was and have been on edge emotionally. Almost anything will bring tears to my eyes.

We're into the session and she validates me in such a way that I had her to pause so that I could write it down. She then said to me, "You'll learn this about me, I only tell you what I've observed about you. I won't lie to you. What I say about you is what I've observed to be true."

In the community environment that she has designed for us to learn in, she watches all of her mentees and looks for the things they've done well. She seeks out opportunities to speak the gift of blessing and goodness into our spirits so that we grow what is good. 

I'll be honest, I've known about this concept. I've never had another person practice it into my life that wasn't related to me (I say that because my sister practices speaking blessings). This was different. She spoke about what she observed me doing well right now, not what she'd like to see me do or become in the future.

It's such a powerful practice because it requires mindfulness to pay attention to what others do right and what they do well. Human nature in us automatically notices what we don't like. It's a mind exercise to purposely put a spot light on when someone does something right. It made me take notice. It was a soul recognition that that is the sort of human being I intend to be. I will do the mind exercises and purposefully, mindfully document what is good; that which is done well; what is right with a person and I will speak it. Sowing those seeds will give me a beautiful garden to walk in, I believe.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

It is my nature to see a thing and get lost in thought. I learn lessons, dream up stories (most unwritten), and truths settle into my spirit that perhaps words upon damaged ears can't convey.  I say damaged ears because, my hearing is prejudiced. I'm just now beginning to really understand how my past, my mistakes, the walls I've built, and trusts broken have deafened me.

Clarity is a double edged sword. The dawning of knowing a new to me revelation is exciting, but then it beckons change to occur. That's when the steady undoing has to happen.

My last outing with a camera wasn't stellar. That happens sometimes. I don't judge my camera. I don't judge my surroundings. I don't even judge my incompetence. In that arena, I'm able to accept that at times, it's simply about the experience; getting out there and shooting, that is the jewel rather than what is captured.

This morning, I finally had time to truly review the images I shot and pretty much had the same impression as I did when I performed my first cursory glance through the files. This day wasn't a great session. Then, I noticed this shot:

It really isn't the quality of the shot that caught my attention. It's the lesson in that industrious tiny spider doing what it's designed to do. I took the time to allow this to sink in. The little guy didn't wake up, stretch, and say, "I do believe I shall cast a web of grand proportions upon this day" (If he talked and sounded a little British).

He (I didn't check, I'm just generalizing here) simply did what his DNA tells him to do. That web was much greater than he is. That web likely didn't survive the day. Nevertheless, he simply began crafting his art because that's what was the right thing to do.

I have a great task before me. I have a lot of undoing to do. Today, I do what I can this day. I will do what is the right thing to do. It's in my DNA. I've squashed its voice with emotions and history. It is time to be fundamentally sound in practice. Behold the way of the itsy bitsy spider. :D

Beginnings

Doing a new thing unnerves me. Because people will notice and talk about it and what if I don't measure up or worse, fail. Recently, I listened to an interview between Chase Jarvis and Seth Godin (30 Days of Genius) and Seth presented failing in such a lovely non-threatening way that I almost couldn't wait to fail. I mean...try.

I've been thinking about blogging for years. Wanna know how long? I've had this space on blogger since 2007. That is not a joke. I've renamed it a couple of times. I've written posts and deleted them. I allowed the internal damnation chronicles to impede any sort of advancement.

This year, I will start a few "new" beginnings. I have a lot of ideas. I will start and I will keep doing. I am a doer. 

What can you expect? I will be posting from archives and I will add new works, my thoughts, some traveling, cooking, and being in love with a man who lives far, far away. 

Speaking of him, I call him the Dood when I'm writing about him. He is included as an author on this blog as well. 

That's enough for now. My sweaty palms are making it difficult to type. ;)